Dow Jones Seen Wearing Parachute Pants, Watching Kid ‘n’ Play’s House Party at Sam Goody’s in the Mall
Dow Jones, you crazy, yo!
WBR correspondents can confirm that the Dow Jones has regressed back to levels not seen since the mid-90s.
Shortly after sliding below the 7,000 mark for the first-time in 12 years, the Dow Jones was spotted next to the Piercing Pagoda at a mall most people thought closed two years ago. Jones was wearing brightly colored parachute pants and watching the latest installment of the “House Party” trilogy through the glass at Sam Goody‘s while waiting for his girlfriend to finish shopping at Express.
When members of the media and worried investors approached and questioned Jones, he seemed confused, responding that everything was great, it was a new economy, tech would go up forever, and that he’s really looking forward to next week’s Color Me Badd show at the outdoor amphitheater that most nearby residents seem to agree is really now a Home Depot.
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