Nation No Longer Capable of Simple Math Celebrates Square Root Day
Be honest, you had to whip out the calculator function on your iPhone to remember what the hell a square root is.
Although most Americans can no longer make change for dollar without several minutes of calculations, a machine with bright colorful buttons or their friend from Seoul, an inordinate amount of people are strangely pumped about the fact that both today’s day and month are the square root of the current year.
I’ll wait while you go back over that last sentence several times to try and figure it out. Don’t worry it took me a half hour of research and three days of preparation just to write it.
So, apparently this only happens a few times a century, something that probably seems obvious to people who weren’t drunk on Everclear through most of their high school calculus class.
If you’re a little too busy picking up the pieces of your broken life to celebrate today, it comes around again on 4/4/16. But never fear, your next opportunity to clothe yourself in a robe of nerdy irony (a la Wrecking Ball Report) comes in a few days on 3.14, AKA Pi Day.

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