Hey Germany guy, Alabama Dude and other distraught assholes! We know shit sucks, but please stop shooting us! Here’s 5 more constructive ways to deal with that angst (LIST!)
See - Brit knows how to vent!
Ok, so you’ve been fired and you’re facing foreclosure, homelessness, maybe your wife has left you, taken the kids and your world is shit. We get it, it blows. But it’s time to nut up, not melt down. Maybe you’re tired of fuckwads like me telling you what to do and how to live your life, right? That’s cool, man, I feel you there. But if you hate fuckwads, I’ve got news for you – there’s no more fuckwad move than SHOOTING RANDOM PEOPLE.
Seriously, look up fuckwad and it says something about Columbine, right after the picture of John Edwards.
Can someone check and see if that’s the first mini-rant in history that it would be almost impossible for any human to disagree with? Thanks.
So in the spirit of constructive criticism, here’s a few better ways to deal with that existential angst.
- Have you even seen all the shit you can do in video games and Second Life these days? And guess what – no need to off yourself in a barn after going on a rampage in Grand Theft Auto. (Simmer down, overprotective parents who fail to teach the difference between the real world and X-Box.)
- Maybe mellow out with an old John Denver record? On second thought, maybe not…
- Two words – Pinata party!
- Play rugby – we’ll all respect you for even trying. Those dudes are nuts.
- Stick with kicking puppies. Sorry, ASPCA, gotta look out for number one.
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