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March 2009
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The Long-Avoided but Inevitable tirade on the Chris Brown and Rihanna thing

Ug.

Ug.

We really, really didn’t want to waste too much time on this, but then Nickelodeon had to take it over the edge from a story that’s just plain sad and into the realm of the ridiculous.

But before we get to that…

Why’d you have to go and do that Chris?

It’s just such a retarded Bobby Brown – Ike Turner – Ocala, Florida move, and we’re tired of it.

Seriously, you’re hitting women? MC Hammer has to do Cash4Gold commercials to feed his family and yet somehow you get to go around hitting chicks that are more talented than you.

We just got a call from a bunch of inbred meth heads from the local penitentiary and they say you’re pathetic.

Oh, and your agent says that your wash-out tour of county fairs and indian casinos has been canceled too. Organizers are pretty sure the tractor pull will be a bigger draw.

And hey, Nickelodeon – you’re the uh, network for kids and teens, right? Your standing by this dude? We admire your dedication to the judicial system and the concept of innocent until proven guilty – it’s great that you won’t let Chris be judged in the court of public opinion because you want to have him on your little kids’ choice awards show, where he’ll be judged strictly in the court of public opinion.

Who does your fucking PR? Wait – did you hire that guy who just quit the Octumom gig? Can’t wait to hear the news that Rihanna and Chris Brown will be doing a reunion porno, shown exclusively to the fans on Nickelodeon.

This whole sex and violence thing just might catch on, I tell you, Winston….

2 comments to The Long-Avoided but Inevitable tirade on the Chris Brown and Rihanna thing

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