WreckingBallReport.com

Is it a felony to Photoshop the Prez?

I’m not a big fan of money, so I give this advice in the hopes that someone else may prosper: start selling cigarettes out in front of the White House.

President Obama started his administration saying he was trying to kick the habit. Since then he got a close look at the books and I promise that the man now has a two-carton-a-day habit. Heck, I started smoking last week and I’m not in charge of the free world.

This does lead me to another thought: who do you think buys his cigarettes? Seriously, does someone from the Secret Service have to take a drag before passing it to the POTUS? Maybe they just have to smoke one from the pack. Or else they send someone out in civilian clothes to buy smokes at random convenience stores around town and if the clerk asks if these are for the president they have to detain and render them to Tajikistan. What’s that? I”m being told they don’t do that since January.

But I would still be worried that the Cubans are trying to strike back for the cigars-that-make-your-beard-fall-out ploy. I’m positive they’re working on something to sneak into Marlboros that make it impossible for the smoker to hit a jump shot. They think that will shake Obama’s confidence and he’ll turn the country over to Raul.

Still, it’s worth trying to get in on a government supply contract for cigs before those pesky new procurement rules kick in. Anyone got some papers?

- Renny MacKay