WreckingBallReport.com

Obie One committed a bit of a faux pas last month when he presented Prime Minister Gordon Brown and his family with an array of welcome gifts that could have easily been purchased at Dollar Tree.

So, to avoid further egg on the face, or puke in the lap, in the grand tradition of Bush I, we’ve compiled this list of greetings for each of the other leaders of the G-20 that absolutely must be avoided at all costs -

Argentina: Nice to meet you – I always was a big Pele fan. So this economic crisis must seem like nothing to you guys. Third time’s the charm, right? Remind me to send you something from Omaha Steaks -they’re the best in the World, I swear!

Australia: Hello Mr. Hogan, you look very different in person. When are we going to get another Crocodile Dundee sequel?  Oh, and what the fuck was that mascot at the Olympics in Sydney, anyway?

Brazil: You know, it’s funny – whenever I hear the Brazilian spanish, it sounds so different, almost like you guys are speaking another language.  I always thought Pele was overrated, and made sure to tell that guy from Argentina. I’ve got your back, Lula. Funny name, you’ve got there – gay?

Canada: You know the drill. Agree with everything I say and we won’t have to worry about those tanks rolling over the border from Grand Forks.

China: When this is all over, if we could talk about that refund for all the crap we’ve bought from you guys over the last ten years.  Just kidding! Poker at my hotel room with the Dalai Lama tonight. See you there!

France: Dude, your lady is so totally hot. Maybe she could tone it down a bit – she’s stealing Michelle’s thunder. Or maybe you wanna just swap some time? You frogs are into that, right?

Germany: Hey Angela, you look a little  tense in the shoulders. Let me help you with that…

India: Nice hat, bro. Throw me a little of that nuclear nation secret handshake. Oh, sorry, I thought you knew it. Didn’t the Pakistan guy teach you? Oh, right.

Indonesia: Can you pass on a message? Tell my brothers and sisters back home that I remain strong in Allah waiting for the right time to strike. No, don’t write it down – totally fucking with you man. Why are you winking? No, really, it was just a joke.

Italy: I brought the warranty for my old Dodge Dakota. Good luck with that shit.

Japan: You’re still here?

Mexico: Hey man, the kitchen’s that way.

Russia: I really like what you guys have been doing with the Vodka. The Mango is fucking delicious. So, we’re cool right? Because, the last dude was just a dick, right? Yea, I mean our dude and your dude. Oh, Hi Mr. Putin. I didn’t see you standing there.

Saudi Arabia: You look like the kind of guy who wants to pre-order 10,000 Chevy Volts!

South Africa: Token African country, eh? Don’t worry man, I’ll get them to seat you at the same table this year.

South Korea: I looked at a map the other day, and you guys are totally like the tip of Asia’s penis.

Turkey: Why are you winking, too? Did you talk to Indonesia? I swear it was a joke.

United Kingdom: So, what’d you think of those DVDs?