A Response to Tax Day Tea Parties, Tea Baggers and the Tea Party Anthem
If you’re not up on the Tea Party movement that’s supposed to be culminating today, the hilarious resurgence of teabagging as a verb or the jingle funktastic tea party anthem – start here with this historic six-minute MSNBC segment on teabagging and continue below by taking a listen to the official “Tea Party” anthem, which sounds like some bizarre human-animal song hybrid of Hall and Oates, a local radio jingle and Sean Hannity talking dirty.
The WBR response (free of all synthesized organs) to the whole movement follows below…
Dear Teabaggers,
Wow. Thanks for that – you’ve totally driven us to achieve. Maybe we will finally get off our easy chairs and take a dip into the great, gaping mouth of freedom and liberty. Maybe there is value in all this teabagging after all.
Ok, that was another low blow. Tell you what, let’s call a truce. No more of the teabagging double entendres. That’s been pretty well covered already. But we are curious – No one in your camp pointed out the double meaning when you were coming up with your movement taglines?
Weren’t there a bunch of upstanding Republicans in the back of the room that raised their hands to object when teabagging first came up, only to say “oh, nevermind” when they saw that Larry Craig also had his hand up? That’s a huge red flag, dudes.
OK, OK, so you all are of such higher moral character that you’ve never had the opportunity to be exposed to such bi-coastal homoliberal indulgences – fair enough. We’ll just ignore the fact that our North Hollywood buddies swear they recognize some of you tea party folks from Burning Man. Whatever. On to the real questions here – like, don’t you think it’s just common courtesy to shave before dipping the bag?
Sorry, clear violation of the truce there. Tell you what, just to make it up to you all, we won’t mention anything that happened over the last eight years when you start talking about how the Obama stimulus amounts to a trampling of the constitution. If we do, you can extraordinarily render us to a black prison and waterboard us – cool?
Actually, we should probably be thanking you – we learned a few things from your catchy little song, like when you point out that “Freedom isn’t Free.”
It got us wondering who actually pays for freedom? Sure, we know you’re talking about the sacrifices made by men and women in uniform, and we’re down with the sentiment. But beyond that, who is actually bankrolling the whole effort, military included? We looked into it and were surprised to learn that the Department of Defense is actually not funded by willing donations from freedom-loving red state Americans.
Did you know that we all paid for those wars in Afghanistan and Iraq? Who knew? And hey, get this – the Iraq war alone has cost twice as much the stimulus package. And it apparently wasn’t included in the regular budget so that a little creative bookkeeping could limit the appearance of something along the lines of ‘taxation without representation,’ since you know, most taxpayers and the rest of the free world weren’t big supporters of the whole adventure. Can’t believe we haven’t all been teabagging out in the open all these years!
Oh, and as to what the French might say – um, they’re actually on the side of the teabaggers when it comes to stimulus spending. I know, I know, it’s tough listening to what the French dude was actually saying at the G20 when all you’re thinking about is banging his wife. Still, looks like you’re not just teabaggers, you’re teabagging frogs. Wonders never cease, eh?
By the way, on the charge that stimulus spending will “kill the American Dream” – maybe you were in the bathroom on our last turn, but everyone else seems to agree that it was Colonel Unbridled Capitalism in the study with the lead pipe filled with Credit Default Swaps. At least that’s what our formerly comfortably retired parents who are now broke and working at Wal-Mart seem to believe. I guess they should have “achieved” more in anticipation of all the ways in which our most vaunted “achievers” on Wall Street would squander their life savings.
What’s that? I’m not sure I got your response to that, sounds like your mouths were full or something.
Anyway, happy tea-bagging!
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In honor of today’s teabagging parties, I offer the following COLOR-CODE Teabag Warning System:
* GREEN: All is calm. Your tea is nice and healthy, possibly minty.
* BLUE: Slightly unusual situation. Most likely, your tea has some dried berries added.
* ORANGE: Moderate alertness. Your tea has a citrus base.
* YELLOW: Warning! The situation is highly usual; someone may have pissed in your tea.
* RED: Panic! Extreme danger that your tea has either redbush infusions or is some vampire-oriented concoction. Flee In Panic!!!
Wow. Very clever writing with super-quick wit. I like how you are quick to criticize those that protest policies that limit your liberties.
Your comments make the general assumption that proponents of these gatherings must be Republican. I attended the local Tea Party, and wasn’t all that surprised to learn that many of the attendees don’t consider themselves to be such. Other than an informal poll that identified many that “used to be Republicans,” 3rd parties appeared to have very large or majority representation. Obviously some are recent converts, but many (like myself) have been disillusioned with the lack of true conservative representation from either of the two primary parties for some time. Actions of the current and previous administrations are all not acceptable. Injustices of the past don’t make the ones of today OK. The acceleration of this type of unconstitutional activity currently underway has just created an equal and opposite response from Tea Party-like groups that have finally been forced to action.
You can make snarky comments from behind your blog all you want about these patriotic efforts…until that Constitutionally-protected right is violated, too. I am inspired by the turnouts.
A) “Former” republicans are stealing the tea-bagging oops I meant Tea- party movement from Ron Paul supporters
B) If you really felt the way you say you do and not just because of the defeat suffered by your “former” candidate then Ron Paul would have had more votes
C)If you were really protesting policies that were in violation of your civil liberties you would have been up in arms when the Patriot Act was proposed and ooozed thru congress.
D) Do you even know what conservatism is as the last head of your “former” party was one of the most liberal spending presidents ever.
E) You say that these groups have been forced into action….. that is a joke… what action are you taking…. parading around as tea baggers with socialist signs not offering up a single soultion.
F) Anyone that associates “Tea-Bagging” with their movement and expects anyone to take them seriously and wonders why they are grist for the fodder mill….well…frankly deserves to be laughed at.
SOOO ROTFL tea-bagging HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
A New Tax Day Anthem…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-Groi6Ziio
Not sure how I managed to navigate to this page… but anyway, I like what I see, so keep it up
Im all for grass roots organizations getting the point out. But something about a bunch of people who make over $250000 finally getting out there in protest because they might have to pay some taxes, welllllllllllllllll not so sympathetic.
Nor am I sympathetic to grassroots being astroturf. Bought and paid for and propagated by many of the right wing nut jobs that the American people voted out. Because the majority of the American people wanted to end illegal wars. Wanted fiscal government accountability.
So as far as all lining up in the street in your fancy clothes complaining how you have to pay taxes on your millions just doesn’t strike a chord in the hearts of us Americans who just wish we had a job. Seems some of us are alot more worried how we are going to pay our bills than how some folks making $250K plus a year might have to buy one less Mercedes or Hummer.
The Solution Is Illegal To Talk About.
Geenie…hilarious!!! Not.
A) Tea-bagging reference…got the joke the first 100 times. As it were, I DO support Ron Paul. I just happen to support the Constitution Party’s platform more than his. (Ron Paul endorsed this party)
B) True. I voted this way, but most “conservatives” did not.
C) Very good point about the Patriot Act. I see both sides, but tend to side with you.
D) I do know what conservatism is, and I know that Bush was not one. I also know that McCain was even less of one. I’m not going to define that for you here.
E) Are you saying that we just shouldn’t bother with public assembly, dissent, or the petition of our elected representatives for the address of our grievances? Is that kind of action only worth ridicule now?
F) I don’t hear any of the same ridicule for more liberal-themed protests. It’s our right and honor to do so. Hide behind your sarcasm all you want. I’ll continue to fight for your ability to do so.
To IXLNXS: You obviously didn’t attend a Tea Party. If you had, you would not have seen a lot of “fancy clothes,” except for those that came down to participate on a work break. Those that make over $250k a year represent a small percentage of the population, and I’d suspect that most of those folks (Hollywood, George Soros, etc?) can afford the tax increases or can afford the resources to find creative tax shelters. The rest of us can’t afford to shoulder the burden for everyone else. We’re here to guarantee everyone’s freedoms and opportunities…not to guarantee the same results.
This is really sad. There were people all over this country who stood up for what they believed in. They were not “fancy dressed” people who were worried about paying taxes on their “millions”. They were ordinary hard-working people who were tired of the crazy spending that has been going on in DC for many years. I was there. I saw what was happening and I delightedly joined in. The fact is that you like to voice your rude opinions and have that right because of the Bill of Rights in our Constitution. As these rights are being eroded (Bush took part in that also with the Patriot Act, now Democrats are doing so with the “Fairness Doctrine”), I have been fighting for these rights. Where were you when these things were happening? Or do you just prefer to speak out now, long after their passing and implementation. You blog using pornographic innuendo towards these people who are trying to let DC know that they are going in the wrong direction. If you truly believe that you may be the person screaming the loudest when the “jack booted thugs” come to take you to the work camps..Read you history before you are doomed to repeat it(Germany before the Nazi’s took over was very similar to the environment in this country today)…
Childish. Full of regurgitated 3rd grade jokes, stereotypes, rumors, and unfounded statements.
Seriously. Did you take one look at the kinds of people protesting? These were NOT the super wealthy. These were NOT people making over $250k.
If you AT ALL looked into it, it was all about representation. No, not because The One was elected, because they were also protesting Bush’s actions. The fact that it finally culminated and gained attention this day was coincidence. If Bush were still in office to this day, or McCain for that matter… it would be the same thing.
So quit making it a party thing, and grow up. These people are 100% serious, have more to say than just “wahhh, taxes”, and if you can’t give them the respect or the time of day to at least hear what they are saying, then you my friend are living in some seriously idiotic ignorance.