WreckingBallReport.com

Chrysler -  the car company best known for a skyscraper that’s sleeker and more cool-looking than any car they’ve ever made – could be looking at filing bankruptcy as soon as next week. At least, that’s what the New York Times reports, and they should know, since they’ll also be bankrupt by the end of the year.

So, given Chrysler’s grand tradition of creating cars fit for grandpas and golfers, where could they have gone wrong?

Let’s review:

The Eagle Premier / Dodge Monaco – A car built in the 1990s that just couldn’t let the style of the 80s go, and not even the interesting, gaudy part of the 80s. This car would have played the annoying country club kid that ends up with shit on his face at the end of some John Hughes flick.

The Dodge Shadow / Plymouth Sundance – “Of course a box can be sporty and sexy! Just make sure it has a mysterious yet playful name. Oh, and add a spoiler, too. The kids are going to go nuts for the box with the spoiler.”

Dodge/Plymouth Neon – “Hi.”  Buh-bye.

Just three examples of an enduring automotive legacy that continues right now as the darkness closes in on Detroit.  Go into the light Chrysler… No, it’s not Heaven, it’s a massive pyre of burning Sebrings finally getting the treatment they deserve.  It was nice knowing you, but we’re keeping the skyscraper.