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May 2009
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North Korea tests 6th missile, Kid Next Door Still More Threatening

News that North Korea, the perennial Eric Cartman of North Asia, has launched its sixth test missile in recent weeks was overshadowed by whatever the hell that creepy kid down the street is up to now. “Kim Jong Il, that guy doesn’t have the balls to actually do shit, but that kid that lives down [...]

Obama Stands Firm on Israeli Settlements, No One Gives a Shit

President Obama is standing by his stance on Middle East peace in the face of strong, unspoken and obvious indifference. The President last week met with Israeli Prime Minister Benyamin “That name sounds familiar…  oh, him again?” Netanyahu and called for a stop to Israeli settlements in the West Bank, reminding the PM how richly [...]

GM About to Go Bankrupt – ‘Drinking With Bob’ Appointed new Auto Czar

General Motors has failed to reach an agreement with its bondholders that will almost certainly send the company into bankruptcy.  The most upsetting part of all this, besides the wasted taxpayer loans, the impending death of the Chevy Volt and the loss of thousands more jobs, is the fact that Drinking with Bob called it [...]

Obama Picks Sonia Sotomayor for Supreme Court, GOP Readies List of Confirmation Questions

President Obama is set to nominate federal appeals court judge Sonia Sotomayor to the vacant spot on the Supreme Court left by the outgoing Justice David Souter. Sotomayor would be the first hispanic judge on the high court, and she also adds another female voice to the bench, and she…  um… OK – so we [...]

More Sonia Sotomayor – Right Sacrifices Values for Their Own Protection

One more note on the Sonia Sotomayor nomination for all you legal nerds out there. I found some folks that actually did some homework on her – the Judicial Network, aka the Ol’ Boys Network, aka ‘You ain’t lettin’ no Puerto Rican into THIS country club, ever!” This is the group that basically tries to [...]

GOP Falls Back on Tactics that Scared the Sh$# out of Our Grandparents

I’ve got no idea why, but it seems like a full swear word in the title is just too much. I mean kids see that fuckin’ shit on Google, you know? Anyway, the Republican National Committee is digging deep into the National Fear Archives, pulling out footage from the ‘controversial “daisy” ad to make a [...]

Obama Vs. Cheney – The Force Takes on the Dark Side on Gitmo

So, President Obama and Dick Cheney gave competing speeches in Washington, D.C. today, respectively arguing that the detention center at Guantanamo Bay is: a )-  an ethical and moral lapse in a nation’s judgment that has only emboldened the resolve of our enemies; OR b) a totally scrumptious and justified way of hiding away really [...]

Missing Link Found! … at the Galleria Mall in Ottawa

The Missing Link has been found! And he still wrestles on occasion in suburban Canadian malls. On the same day that scientists claim to have discovered that a Lemur-like creature represents the so-called ‘missing link’ of human evolution, I went on Google and discovered that the missing link had ALREADY been discovered, or re-discovered as [...]

Meghan McCain Continues to Have More Balls Than John McCain in Facing Down Her Own Party (VIDEO from Colbert Report)

Meghan McCain “gets it,” apparently in more ways than one, and she’s not afraid to admit it on national television. On last night’s Colbert Report, she described herself as a “pro-sex” and pro gay marriage, as well as pro-life, Republican. In other words, she’s in touch with the actual reality of where her generation, her [...]

Chrysler Dealerships Closing: Blame Lee Iacocca

Chrysler, now a beat-up veteran of the economic wars, abused and neglected by an apathetic consumer market and an unloving and out of touch board and CEO is facing a major amputation.  The chronically unhip auto manufacturer is having its Born on the Fourth of July moment – facing the shuttering of nearly a quarter [...]