Swine Flu Update – WHO: Hope You Enjoyed the Weekend, Now Please Resume Panicking
Sunday Swine Flu Roundup
Remember Friday? When you were able to leave work behind, head out into the world and relax knowing that scientists at the World Health Organization believed the Swine Flu virus to be less virulent than the fatal 1918 pandemic? Transmission of the disease was slowing and it seemed that the whole thing might have been as overblown as Wilt Chamberlain in the ’70s…
Yet now, after being criticized for possibly ‘overhyping’ the outbreak, the WHO is reportedly considering raising the alert to its highest level and declaring a full-blown pandemic. In other words – don’t tell anyone in Geneva their business; just like you wouldn’t tell Wes Craven he doesn’t know shit about being scary without expecting a visit from that Pinhead dude from Hellraiser in the middle of your next shower.
Swine Flu Spreads to uh, Swine….
Nothing in this world is more powerful than branding, folks. Sell something hard enough and it becomes reality. Ok, maybe everything except nukes in Iraq. But after a solid week of pissing off the world’s pork producers and anyone that keeps kosher (pretty impressive to tick both of those groups off), Swine Flu has finally been passed on to… swine. Take that, yesterday’s breakfast! Apparently, a farmer in Alberta has passed on the disease to his pigs, and the farmer’s wife is now filing for divorce. (“I understand one pig, but the whole, herd Harold?”) Ah, the Circle of Life has been completed. It’s so beautiful…
Loading...
Recent Comments