Obama Picks Sonia Sotomayor for Supreme Court, GOP Readies List of Confirmation Questions
Sonia Sotomayor, yep yep.
President Obama is set to nominate federal appeals court judge Sonia Sotomayor to the vacant spot on the Supreme Court left by the outgoing Justice David Souter. Sotomayor would be the first hispanic judge on the high court, and she also adds another female voice to the bench, and she… um… OK – so we don’t actually know much else about her.
Wikipedia tells us that she once intervened in a Major League Baseball strike, but it also told us that she likes to have to tea with Osama Bin Laden and William Ayers every Tuesday, and that she’s rumored to be on the next season of Dancing with the Stars.
Fortunately, we’ll soon know plenty about Sonia Sotomayor, thanks to our dignified confirmation process, and rest assured that none of it will have to do with her judgment or qualifications for the bench. In fact, here’s a leaked list of some of the questions GOP lawmakers have been preparing:
- So, you’re Puerto Rican, huh? That’s pretty close to Cuba, isn’t it? Isn’t it? That’s a yes or no question.
- Have you ever practiced any of that crazy voodoo stuff you’ve got down there?
- But as far as you know, it’s completely possible that somebody has put like a kind of weird voodoo hex on you, right? I mean, it’s possible that they’ve been putting pins in a doll that looks like you to control your judgment? Can you say without a doubt that you know that hasn’t happened?
- Have you ever conceived a child with a gay illegal immigrant that was later aborted?
- Has your husband ever actually said to you, the exact words “I am not a gay illegal immigrant?”
- So you can’t really be 100 percent sure then?
- When you watch The View, would you say you’re usually on Joy Behar’s side? You know, like you and your friends say mean things every time the blonde chick speaks?
- What do you think is a more strange name for a Supreme Court justice, Sotomayor or Bork?
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