Obama Stands Firm on Israeli Settlements, No One Gives a Shit
President Obama is standing by his stance on Middle East peace in the face of strong, unspoken and obvious indifference.
The President last week met with Israeli Prime Minister Benyamin “That name sounds familiar… oh, him again?” Netanyahu and called for a stop to Israeli settlements in the West Bank, reminding the PM how richly the Zionists were rewarded last time around when Palestinians put some crazy-ass terrorist dickwads in power following the withdrawal of settlements.
“Clearly you’ve got no fucking clue what you’re talking about, Mr. President – This is the Middle East, not the frickin’ South Side of Chi-town, ” read the little cloud-like bubbles floating next to Netanyahu’s head during his meeting with Obama. “But you’re so damn charming and eloquent that I suppose I’ll just keep smiling and nodding.”
Obama reiterated the message today in a meeting with Fatah leader Mahmoud Abbas, also underlining the need for the Palestinians to increase security.
“Is this guy fucking serious? Has he noticed we’re an occupied state fighting a civil war?” said a miniature version of Abbas dressed as a devil perched on normal-sized Abbas’ shoulder.
“But maybe we should listen to what he has to say, I mean he ran such a remarkable campaign, maybe he can actually put together a lasting peace….” replied a mini-angel Abbas. “Just kidding! Yea, definitely fuck this guy!”

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