WreckingBallReport.com

If there’s one thing our Supreme Court is best known for, it’s the zingers!  Trust me – Clarence Thomas has perfected the use of ‘that’s what she said.’ How do you think Justice Byron White got the nickname “Whizzer?” Apparently Chief Justice William Brennan had this great impression of the plaintiff in 1973′s Frontiero v. [...]

Harry Reid is just so sick and tired of this health care talkie, talkie, talkie!  Thank god for his wicked health insurance plan, access to the Congressional Rec Center, and his sweet hook-up at Pfizer with the happy pills that keep him nice, mellow and monotone. The majority leader drolled today, with only slight agitation [...]

So this is what those people in West Virginia were warning us about! Elect one of “them” and “they’ll” start teaming up – and not just on them basketball courts! Seems some fine, upstanding young protestant Police boys from hardworking European backgrounds saw one of the coloreds peeping, so naturally hauled him in. So what [...]

Welcome back to the flip-flopping Michael Jackson/Sarah Palin news cycle, kids! Health care hurts my head, and my insurance company won’t cover a refill on my Xanax – so thank god for people in positions of power with absolutely no common sense whatsoever to keep us all entertained! Seems the old Revlon Pit Bull used [...]

Practicing the time-honored journalistic tradition of ‘letting the interns surf around for shit on the Internet’ – CNN saw fit to publish a link to this only slightly above-average video parody with the misleading but click-inducing headline “GOP’s new youth ambassador: Lady Gaga? Neither Lady Gaga’s voice nor image actually appears in the video, just [...]

If  only we had listened to him a little more closely when we had the chance. Here was a man screaming for our attention. Literally screaming. Seriously, that dude had his shit turned up to 12, didn’t he? Looking back, it all seems so obvious now – why the hell did we never elect this [...]

Dave Chapelle is something like the  new Andy Kaufman for the 21st century, but with less coordination. He’s kind of like the stoner’s Andy Kaufman I guess.  Word spread through Twitter and text messages yesterday that the constantly-in-crisis-but-still-cool comic would do a free, impromptu show in Portland’s Pioneer Square at midnight.  One problem: the city [...]

# If you’re such a “wise Latina woman,” where’s your long gray beard and glasses?
# Are you sure you really want to do this? Ever thought about an exciting life as a firefighter? in Connecticut, maybe?
# Hey, ‘Dodo Mayor’ – wanna fight? Come on, at least arm wrestle Bachmann!
# So, you’re Puerto Rican, huh? That’s pretty close to Cuba, isn’t it? Isn’t it? That’s a yes or no question.

Or maybe just like Cher. Bravo on this edition of Auto-Tune the News, boys!