WreckingBallReport.com

Have you seen John Boehner’s sweet new ride? So far the GOP represents the only new car buyer that’s been able to use a ‘cash for clunkers’ voucher to purchase a new Hummer. The Grand Ol’ Par-taay opted to trade in Michael Steele, who got an EPA-estimated zero MPG both in the city and on [...]

Welcome back to the flip-flopping Michael Jackson/Sarah Palin news cycle, kids! Health care hurts my head, and my insurance company won’t cover a refill on my Xanax – so thank god for people in positions of power with absolutely no common sense whatsoever to keep us all entertained! Seems the old Revlon Pit Bull used [...]

News that North Korea, the perennial Eric Cartman of North Asia, has launched its sixth test missile in recent weeks was overshadowed by whatever the hell that creepy kid down the street is up to now. “Kim Jong Il, that guy doesn’t have the balls to actually do shit, but that kid that lives down [...]

President Obama is standing by his stance on Middle East peace in the face of strong, unspoken and obvious indifference. The President last week met with Israeli Prime Minister Benyamin “That name sounds familiar…  oh, him again?” Netanyahu and called for a stop to Israeli settlements in the West Bank, reminding the PM how richly [...]

The Missing Link has been found! And he still wrestles on occasion in suburban Canadian malls. On the same day that scientists claim to have discovered that a Lemur-like creature represents the so-called ‘missing link’ of human evolution, I went on Google and discovered that the missing link had ALREADY been discovered, or re-discovered as [...]

President Obama shared a few jokes and a few life lessons with graduates of Arizona State University in his commencement speech last night – then, presumably he had a number of female graduates line up to do keg stands, with the lady able to consume the most Heineken being added to his list of candidates [...]

At last, the producers of TLC’s Jon & Kate Plus 8 are adding a little sizzle to the show, and I don’t mean a toddler meets skillet accident – although let’s not our kid ourselves, we all know there’s been conversations at TLC HQ about what great television that would make – the rumor is [...]

As the global economy continues to take a leisurely Sunday drive into a bottomless pit of misery, the number of Americans on Food Stamps is now over one in 10. And with the price of a stamp going up to 44 cents this month, the Postal Service is commemorating this important milestone in the history [...]

A case of Swine Flu has reportedly been confirmed in an Orlando Hospital, shortly after famously “drawn out” Disney Character “Party the Pig” unexpectedly appeared at Disney World. Mr. Pig enjoyed only a brief stint as a Disney character in the 1980s, an attempt by the company to teach the “Me Generation” how to party [...]

The world’s most prominent assholes of the moment, those pesky Somali pirates floating in the Indian Ocean with Captain Richard Phillips of the Maersk Alabama as hostage, have communicated that they are demanding a ransom and safe passage to the shore in exchange for his release. That non-specific list of demands is nothing surprising, but [...]