WreckingBallReport.com

Iconic Chicago Sun-Times files for bankruptcy – nation yawns, takes a sip of coffee from three-times reused grounds – http://tr.im/i2py # Situation in Fargo officially more f$#@ed up than movie of same name – http://tr.im/i3iJ # A vinyl floor ‘clean enough to eat off of’ can still give you autism. – http://tr.im/i3jg # GM’s New [...]

President Obama held a first-of-its kind online town hall this week, and the White House was flooded with over 100,000 questions in advance. Although 95,000 of the questions were asking Obama if he wanted to “make his P3niz much longer by trying Ciali$,” the online whoozy-whatsit was deemed a major success and the supersexy cyber [...]

“Winnie” from “Wonder Years” Danica McKellar gets married – Our pre-pubescent , mid 1990s fantasies have been crushed. – http://tr.im/hJNL # Geithner Asks for Broad Takeover Powers, and maybe some other clown to take over this shitty job – http://tr.im/hKQm # Many Top AIG execs agree to return bonuses, say they will buy WBR t-shirts [...]

Yay! North Koreans finally get Pizza! Locals say it’s so good they almost forget about their Tuberculosis! – http://tr.im/hq2l # Can’t believe guys didn’t think of this first – SF center offers “female orgasms as meditation practice.” – http://tr.im/hqfp #

Sarah Palin’s mission to destroy her entire family on the way to Washington almost complete: Palin-Johnston wedding off – http://tr.im/hgSc #

Yay! Someone put whipped cream on our shit sundae! Dow rises 300 points: http://tr.im/hdbq # Signs of the times: Real-life “Cheers” bartender laid off. Also, Woody Harrelson is looking for a cheaper dealer. – http://tr.im/hdmM # Sea Levels Rising Faster than Expected, Earth experiencing once in an eon bout of totally harsh PMS – http://tr.im/he1v [...]

Woman marries Eiffel Tower (really), Statue of Liberty still reportedly playing field, having coffee with Melissa Rycroft: http://tr.im/hatA # China harasses unarmed US ship, claims retribution for chinese characters in John Hughes films of the ’80s – http://tr.im/hawy # Death of Martha Stewart’s Chow in propane blast reminds us that insider-trading, napkin folding robots are [...]

In post-Bush New Depression era, comedy gods throw us a bone – Michael Jackson is back! – http://tr.im/h6Dv # Obama to Nix Stem Cell Ban; Animal human hybrids and Michael J. Fox celebrate at seriously weird joint party – http://tr.im/h6DP #

Downtown Bozeman Blows Up – millions of East Coast residents ask: “where’s that? Australia or something? Oh, Montana… So, Canada, right?” # Study: Palin’s looks hurt McCain ticket. Common Sense: Study just as ridiculous as Palin’s qualifications for Veep – http://tr.im/h4fs # Sanjay Gupta out as Surgeon General. Was he intimidated by Brad Pitt’s White [...]

10 Companies Most Affected by Obama Overhaul of Government Contracting and Procurement – Funny, We Swear – http://tr.im/h0FX # Ted Kennedy to be Knighted, hope restored for many other one-time manslaughterers. # Google Trends: The only things people search for on the net are the Bachelor and the frickin’ lottery. Oh, and Angelina Jolie, of [...]